Wankers give thumbs up, Dave. Wanker.
We’ve all got a friend like Dave.
He shows up when you don’t want him to.
He will get drunk and hack into your voicemail changing it to a bad Mr T impression with a dodgy Cavan accent.
He’ll invite you around for dinner and make you do the cooking and washing up while he chats up your ma.
He always insists that you bring your ma to dinner.
He once did a one man rendition of Mary Poppins and won a Tony award.
He didn’t thank us in his acceptance speech.
He holds the world record for the largest Cornetto made out of a traffic cone he made me steal.
He didn’t thank me in his acceptance speech.
He tells really bad jokes and fucks up the punchline.
We could go on, but we needn’t bother. For someone has set up a Facebook group to celebrate the hate. It’s been going for a year or two, but we think that it needs to be revived. Because we all have a friend that gets right on our tits.
This way you can channel your hate and rage into this instead of breaking the legs of stray cats. Not that we’ve ever done that, you understand.
Hate Dave. It’s good for you.
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