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I remember opening what Santa had brought me on Christmas morning all those years ago.

“Holy shitballs, it’s a Master System!” I cried from the living room at 6am.

“Stop that language in there, you!” Would come the groggy response from my parent’s room.

“But he only went and got me a fucking Master System!” I’d shout in justification of my outburst.

“He’ll take it right back if you keep talking like that”

“That fat fucker will have to pry it from my cold dead fingers”

Long story short, I didn’t get to play my Master System until well after dinner following that outburst.

Yes indeed I have just received the biggest and bestest present that I ever could have hoped for, and bless Santa’s bulging sack, he brought it to me.

Holy shitballs

It was Christmas morning 1990 and even though it had been released in 1987, this was still brand new to me, and thousands like me.

Before a time of photo realistic graphics and cinematic cut aways, we marvelled at the brilliance of the 8-bit system.

The notion of a save or checkpoint feature was lightyears away, so dying or turning off the unit meant having to play the entire game again to the point you’d gotten to.

That and the music that was more repetative than a celebrity rehab’s roster.  Side scrolling platform games that had the game play of a calculator watch, but still.  Jump, bash, jump bash.

When you opened the box you were presented with the console, and a controller.  It also came with an inbuilt game – “Alex Kidd in Miracle World”.  In built games were witchcraft back then.  But it was Sonic the Hedgehog that provided most of the use of the Master System for me.  That little blue meddler was my way of sticking it to the man.  While everyone else was into their Mario Bros on Nintendo, I was the only one I knew with a Sega, so the only one who knew the genius of Sonic.  Jump, roll and bash.

Sonic wants your ring.

Of course games these days are full of complex stories and developed characters, but back then the story was printed in the booklet that came with the games.  The graphics were of course great for the time, but you could knock up a better looking game with half decent Flash software these days that would mop the floor with any of them.

Controllers had a D-pad and two buttons.  Not like now when the controls are enough to control an entire army to victory.

The Master System brought me hours of joy and wasted childhood time, but the only two games I can remember fully were Sonic and Alex the Kidd.  I know I had more, but because everyone else was already on the Mega Drive by the time I got my Master System, I was usually around their houses.

It wasn’t the first mass produced home games console by a long shot, but with well over 15 million units sold in Europe, it was the first for me and many others.

I bought one of these not too long ago on Ebay, the one with the built in game.

The nostalgia lasted about 4 minutes as I remembered the frustration of not being able to complete the simple task of jumping and hitting an enemy.

I miss the simpler times, or maybe I miss the simpler expectations.  We forget our humble gaming roots sometimes.  I sometimes wish that technology had never advanced because maybe I’d still be content with 8-bit platformers.  Although when I turned off my newly acquired childhood memory and went back to Call of Duty on the Xbox I wondered why I had squandered my money on the Sega.

There’s €9 plus postage I’ll never see again.