What’s green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
A mother is sitting in the garden with her three daughters.
“Mummy,” the first daughter asks. “Why am I called Rose?”
“Because when you were born a rose petal fell from that bush and landed on your forehead.”
“Mummy,” asked the second daughter. “Why am I called Tulip?”
“Because when you were born a tulip petal fell from over there and landed on your forehead.”
The third daughter moaned: “Mnanmammmammnaamammangh!”
“Hush up, Fridge,” said the mother.
Four nuns are killed and arrive at the Gates of Heaven. They line up in front of St Peter.
The first nun says “St Peter, I once saw a man’s penis. May I still enter?”
St Peter replies “Wash your eyes in this font of holy water and proceed.”
The second nun says “St Peter, I once touched a man’s penis. May I still enter?”
St Peter replies “Wash your hands in this font of holy water and proceed.”
St Peter suddenly notices a scuffle between the last two nuns. The fourth nun is trying to cut in front of the third nun. “What is going on?” he asks the fourth nun.
“I’m trying to go first so I can wash my mouth out before she sticks her arse in the font”.
Two guys are walking down the street and see a dog on the lawn, licking his balls.
One guy says to the other, “Man, I sure wish I could do that”.
The other guy says, “you should probably try petting him first”
What’s blue and fucks grandmothers?
Hypothermia.
What do you call a fat chick with a yeast infection?
A Whopper with cheese.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
And finally, a great Cartman clip for the Aristocrats.
NSFW, or anywhere really.
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