The day’s of the week, all are different. And everyone has their favourite for certain reasons. Al ot of people like Thursday, as it’s pay day.
Then most like Friday’s, as it’s let’s get pissed day. Or maybe that’s just me and I need to join one of those group meeting things.
Around comes Saturday, which we all like. Have a lie-on, out for a few drinks, maybe invite some people around. Always a bit of laugh is Saturday.
Sunday. To some a religious Day. I usually spend it watching football, reading newspapers or eating big juicy roast dinners but always relaxing.
Monday, the painful day which everyone hates. Including me suffering with the D.T’S after a clatter load of gargle all weekend. (Note to self, check out the meetings. At least get the application form)
Tuesday. It’s better than Monday, say us in unison. But then.
BUT THEN..!!!!
POXY…STUCK-IN-THE-MIDDLE…SPELLED STUPIDLY….WEDNESDAY !!!!
What a waste of time Wednesdays are. Lingering there, mid-week. Not the start. Not the end. Just There. Like the middle child that gets no attention. The child that wasn’t giving the breast. The lonely. If it was a person, it would grow up to be a mass murderer and would kill all the other days because people like them and they have a reason to exist. Horrible day, is our Wednesday.
And while we’re at it, should Wednesday not be spelled “WHENN-S-DAY” ?
It’s spelt like an elaborate prank to confuse dyslexic kids. Same as gnat, knob or knife. Actually, anything with a silent letter is a horrible thing.
Think about it. Say it out loud, ”WEDNESDAY”. God it makes me fell sick. It makes me want to get a blade and self-harm. Engrave its weirdo spelling into my forearm emo style-ee.
The world would be a much better place without this cursed cunt of a day. When I was young I used to think that yesterday was a day of the week. I also thought that tomorrow was a day of the week. So by my rationing, we lived a 9 day week. Monday, Tuesday, Tomorrow, Yesterday, Wednesday,Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
But even though it was silly to think that we lived in a 9 day week, there the smug cunt still was right bang in the middle. Right there between Yesterday and Thursday. Even in a fake week, it’s a wanker.
One time I had a birthday on a Wednesday and I got herpes.
One year Christmas fell on a Wednesday and I woke up to see Santa molesting himself over my pillow.
If I was a time traveller like in Quantum Leap, every fucking day I’d land on would be a Wednesday. Then it would be shown on the telly every Wednesday.
Every time I do the lotto on a Wednesday it’s snatched away from me by only 6 poxy numbers.
True Story
One day when I was minding my own business a pigeon landed on my head and took a dump. That day was a Wednesday.
There was a black baby in an orphanage once and Madonna wouldn’t adopt it because its middle name translated as Wednesday.
Not to worry though, it’s gone for another week, and I got paid today. Getting drunk tomorrow.
I have 6 days to figure out how I’m going to rid the world of Wednesdays.
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