Two Boobs Good, Four Boobs Better!

Why not use a Boobie Tuesday to talk about the benefits of Burping the Worm? Jerking the Gherkin? Walking Willie the One Eyed Wonder Worm?

I personally know the benefits of having a girls night in, things like glowing skin, pain relief and it feeds the sex addiction.

First off lads don’t even act like you don’t have some happy jolly alone time, we know when you’ve done it or if you’re doing it, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Hell, just tell us, we might even give you a hand….oh! See what I did there?!

I know masturbating feels really good, sure if it didn’t why would we always wanna slap the salami or flick the bean? But did you know it has some serious health benefits too? Now you can say you were doing some medicinal masturbating if you ever get caught rapid.

So 30% of Irish people admit to masturbating only once or twice a week, I should have actually said 30% of LIARS!!!!

There is no shame in it whatsoever!

You know the way you have those crazy women who promote the shite out of breastfeeding (please note I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it) they want the world to know they can breastfeed their children until they’re old enough to chew steak and they can feed them wherever they want and whenever they want, well I’m going to do that but with masturbating. I’ll call it the Masturbation Movement! There’ll be posters everywhere and websites and I’ll get celebrities to pose in photos with pun-tastic t-shirts promoting the glorious and totally natural thing that is masturbating. We’ll be doing it everywhere in no time!

Actual proper ass scientists have shown that being master of your domain can provide additional feel-great benefits.