Two Boobs Good, Four Boobs Better!

In the latest edition of Good Idea / Bad Idea, we take a look at what jobs would best make one of those incredibly odd SIMULATION releases. And which ones would make….you know. Fucking shite ones.

Flight Sim was the first one that got my attention. I didn’t play it, of course, it looked stupid. Then Train Sim appeared; good Jesus. FARM SIM; Marry your sister who’s also a lamb (I’m guessing here). PC Simulations are weird, but each to their own. Let’s look at some hypothetical ones, eh?!

 Good Idea

This orphanage is only in the way of the newly proposed Dual Carriageway... Hey that rhymes.

YOU KNOW IT. Smashing down gaffs, anyone? Starting off at low level, lump-hammers on dangerous, condemned shacks, moving onto annihilating office buildings with one of those big balls on a chain thingies. The later levels would include blowing up skyscrapers with C4; oh the joys! You’d have to make sure the buildings were vacant first. You know, if you really wanted to.

Bad Idea

What happened to them... in their lives?

If simulating this job is your thing, then hats off to you. You are KING PRICK. Not just a fun prick, but a scummy prick, and nobody likes those. Get that clamp on that wheel before the single mother returns with her buggy and ten shopping bags. Sure, the bitch was parked an entire centimetre over the ALLOTED SPACE.

Watch her make phone call, after, phone call to try get the use of a credit card to pay on the spot and reclaim her car to drive her hungry child home. Drive off if you feel like it, sure. Everyone in the world wishes you were dead. They have support groups for peados, but they’ve given up on you lot.

 Good Idea

All your cares just drift away...

I’m not suggesting you’d need to be under the influence of marijuana or anything, but if you were you might have the best time in the world, ever, playing this. Watching sloths while baked and getting paid for it, would certainly be an awesome job, apart from the children, but would it make a good sim? I hope so, I’ve just made it part of my article.

 Bad Idea

Ok, right… I…

Basically you’d be … just.. microchip after microchip, without…eh… You see the stress levels, right… You’d need to keep those down and…eh.

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea..

BUT SURE WASN’T THAT THE POINT, LADS?!