Two boobs good, four boobs better

Ok, so details have been coming out about this beauty for a while now, well over a year to be precise.  But we figured we’d bring you a bit about it anyway considering that it’ll only be going on sale in summer of next year.  Prices are expected to start at around €200,000.  And that’s only if you can get yourself on the waiting list.

With the new MP4-12C, McLaren’s betting the economy will bounce back soon. It’s planning on building 1000 units in 2011, a quarter of which will go each to the domestic UK market and over here to the United States.

The McLaren MP4-12C is powered by a twin-turbo 3.8-litre V8 engine producing around 600 horsepower and 433 lb-ft of torque. The engine is coupled to a McLaren seven speed Seamless Shift dual clutch gearbox (SSG). It sprints from 0 to 60 mph in less than 3.5 seconds and can hit a top speed of more than 200mph.

Blah blah blah.

I was on the M50 for the first time in I don’t know how long the other day and the speed limit has been reduced from what it was when it was a dual carriage way.  Now it’s a dual carriage speed limit on a three or four lane motorway.

Another win for Irish logic.

In other words, if you win the Lotto later on tonight and drop McLaren an email to get one of these bad boys, you’ll be doing fuck all with it apart from spending the rest of your win on petrol for this thirsty beast.

It’s all very well dreaming about these cars, but in reality you wouldn’t be taking it out anywhere because you’ll just look like a cunt trying to line it up the pump at Topaz.

Having a car like this in Ireland is like having a woman like Scarlett Johansson who doesn’t like sex, giving head, or hand jobs, or even letting you have a cheeky suck on her toes, then it turns out that she likes girls and won’t let you watch but you wouldn’t want to anyway, because she likes girls who look like Kelly Osbourne.

What I mean is, your friends will be jealous, but you’ll be dying inside.

Most of us don’t go shopping for concept cars.  If we are ever on the look out for a new or used car, we’ll do one of a few things:

• Look for something that isn’t likely to leave us on the side of the road
• Look for something that will keep us safe if and when we have an accident
• Look for something that we’ve had our eye on for a while
• Look for something that we can afford
• All of the above if we’re lucky

When I bought my Nissan it was because some silly cunt crashed into my snazzy Ford and wrote it off.  All the insurance would give me was enough to get a probably more reliable, but less snazzy Nissan.

Then I found out that it’s more Renault than Nissan.

I mean the build quality is shite.  Anytime a full car load of people get out and close the doors behind them, it sounds like an empty Coke can being kicked down the road.

I don’t want to go on an off subject rant, but when I buy a shitty Asian badge, I want a shitty Asian badge.  Not a French/Asian mongrel.

Anyway….

The press release for the DeZir went on and on and on more than any press release we get in here at Boob.ie.  So instead I’ve decided to pick out the semi interesting bits.

First off, concept cars are nothing more than an opportunity to use their technical drawing and artistic skills to wank themselves silly and splooge their dreams all over the page.

Most of their wankstains never come to fruition.  Not in our time anyway.

I have a cousin who worked for Mercedes R&D department and while she was there over 5 years ago she was working on projects that still haven’t seen the light of day, and won’t for the next 10 at least.

I mean, just take a look at this.  The Renault DeZir Concept.

As most concept cars from the majority of mainstream manufacturers in recent years, the DeZir is an electric concept.

Energy storage comes by way of the same size 24 kilowatt-hour lithium ion battery pack that sits under the Nissan Leaf, (Ahem a-fucking-hem) and the driving range remains the same 100 miles. Unlike the Leaf, the pack in the concept is configured for Quick Drop exchanges.

Propulsion is provided by a 110 kilowatt electric motor spinning the rear wheels and pushing the 1,830 pound concept to 60 mph in 5 seconds (at least according to the spec sheet). Kevlar body panels (including a pair of trick reverse-hinged butterfly doors) are wrapped around a steel tube frame chassis with double wishbones at all four corners. Renault hasn’t given any indication yet if the DeZir will be produced.

Surprise surprise.

Anyway, here’s more of their designer’s wanking brought to life.  If only I worked for a company that could do the same with my wank fantasies….

This project, created by automotive design graduate Matthew Hockham from Coventry University, is based on the Wally luxury yacht brand, and explores the possibilities offered by the application of company’s distinctive styling and philosophy to the automotive world.

Yeah?

Yachts?

Get ta fuck.

Although you could just picture the kind of cunt climbing out of one of these.  Someone called Fintan sipping on a glass of Pimms punch while trying to passive aggressively torture his secretly lesbian girlfriend, Destiny into some anal on the deck.

I only submit this to the Cars We’ll Never Own section because I don’t know a single person cunty enough to actually want to own one in the first place.

It looks like something that the designers of Back to the Future II vomited up after a night out and thought it better not to feature it as something we may be driving in the year 2015.  And rightly so.

Apparently, Matthew explains “The concept is designed to fit into the company’s image and appeal. The aim is to bring the essence of Wally onto the land and offer an exclusive user experience.”

The essence of Wally indeed.

Sounds like a fragrance sold to kiddie fiddlers.

No production date or price for this as it’s a concept, but it wouldn’t surprise us at all to hear it being sold to boating types, as the Wally company also does skis and all manner of stuff that you should rent and never own.

We’re not sold here, what do you think?

The Hulme CanAm is named after Denny Hulme, New Zealand’s racing prodigy and F1 World Champion. It is the only road-legal supercar to carry the name of an F1 Champion.  The vehicle is said to achieve speeds of above 200 mph, and comes in the form of a high-performance mid-engine roadster.  The car is intended for use both in open roads and the racetrack, combining raw power, outstanding craftsmanship, extraordinary performance, and is guaranteed to provide any driver with an exhilarating driving experience.

So they say.

Under the hood of the Hulme CanAm is a 7-litre Chevrolet LS7 V8 Engine, producing a monstrous 600 horsepower balanced out by 600 Nm of torque. Control for this whopping amount of power is accomplished via a close-ratio, six-speed CIMA manual transmission, where paddle or sequential transmission is also an option. Due to the construction of the vehicle, the car weighs less than a ton, and 600 hp for a lightweight car means that the Hulme CanAm can accelerate from 0 to 100Kph in less than three and a half seconds.

So they say.

Each Hulme CanAm Bear 1 Test Car costs a deposit of £10,000 for an option to order. An enthusiast would want to take note of the fact that only 20 of these supercars from New Zealand will be put into production. The managing director of Hulme, Jock Freemantle, guarantees that the deposit is fully refundable if the option is not escalated into an order, or if the order for this supercar is not satisfied. Before the car is introduced at the 2011 Goodwood Festival of Speed, a private viewing and test drive will be made available to those who have purchased an option to order the vehicle. If the potential buyer is not satisfied and wants to cancel the option to order, his funds will be immediately refunded.

So they say.

Up until May of this year they were still looking for investors.

So £10,000 just to have an option to order?

Yeah, fuck it.  We’ll have two.

It is rather spiffy though, isn’t it?

Anyone of you who watch Top Gear or buy the various car magazines will know that it wasn’t too long ago that Bugatti had to reclaim their world record after it was snapped off them by SSC Ultimate Aero.  But very recently James May from Top Gear went along to the Volkswagen’s test track and claimed it back.

After he had done it, Veyron’s own test driver finally got it up to 268mph, beating their own record and leaving the Ultimate Aero in the dust.

Now though, and we think it’s getting a bit silly at this stage, but an American company reckon that they’ll be the first one to hit 300mph.

The Dagger GT has over-the-top ambitions of becoming the most sinister production car ever built. Only five will be manufactured in 2011 and all but two have been pre-sold. U.S. based TranStar Racing says its design is based on the Corvette Cheetah concept and vows to break every major record, from being the fastest on a straight line to being the quickest around the Nurburgring.

But what credentials does it bring to the fore? For starters, TransStar Racing lists a “who’s who” of U.S. auto industry veterans.  From award winning engineers and race car builders to NASA aerodynamicists.

It comes with all the specs that none of us truly understand like torque and brake horse power and PS and Chromoly Steel Chassis and all the rest.

But it looks fucking awesome.

The one thing that does amaze me is that they reckon it’ll go from 0-60 mph in 1.5 seconds.  It takes me longer than that to sneeze for fuck’s sake.  It’ll do a quarter of a mile in 6.7 seconds and thanks to it’s super light weight carbon fibre body and a proposed 2,000 BHP it’ll reach a smidge over 300mph.

Three different models can be ordered: a hard-core racer, a street-legal sport version and a soft-riding luxurious GT-X that combines both speed and comfort.

Following the first five contract units, sales will begin during the first half of 2011 for 10 units to be delivered in 2012 and each car is priced at a minimum of €360,000.

0 – 60 mph in 1.5 seconds.

That just means your paying €360,000 to have your face ripped off and your balls situated in the boot.

Still, it’d be good though.

The countdown has started, at noon on 28 October 2010, the world’s first Ferrari theme park will open its doors to the public. Ferrari World Abu Dhabi unveiled its 20 rides and attractions this week.

The complete list of attractions is mentioned below:

• Formula Rossa – The world’s fastest roller coaster, reaching speeds of 240km/h
• Speed of Magic – A fantasy 4-D journey following the adventures of a young boy as he travels through a kaleidoscopic dreamscape of natural and phenomenal environments, where no Ferrari has gone before
• Made in Maranello – A virtual trip behind the walls of the famous Ferrari factory in Maranello, taking guests through the intricate process of making the world’s most sought after car.
• V12 – An exciting flume ride to the heart of a 12 cylinders engine.
• G-Force – A thrilling tower ride that will shoot thrill-seekers through the red roof and 62 meters in the air before plummeting back to Earth, experiencing the actual G-force of a Ferrari, in a seat directly inspired by the Ferrari Enzo.
• Scuderia Challenge – Cutting edge racing simulators similar to those used by the drivers of the Scuderia Ferrari in training.
• Viaggio in Italia – A virtual aerial voyage over Italy’s cities and their main monuments, mountains and coasts pursuing a Ferrari.
• Fiorano GT Challenge – A unique dueling rollercoaster with Ferrari F430 Spiders twisting and turning through tight corners on a sprint to the finish line.
• Bell’Italia – A miniature recreation of Italy’s most famous locations, from the picturesque Portofino and the Amalfi Coast to Monza racetrack, the Colosseum in Roma, Venezia and Maranello, the heartland and home of Ferrari.
• Paddock – A re-creation of the Ferrari motor home including garages, transporters & hospitality suites with interactive shows offering fans a taste of the true action behind the scenes on a Grand Prix race day.
• The Pit Wall – An interactive theatre that allows guests to test their judgment in realistic racing scenarios.
• Galleria Ferrari – The world’s largest Ferrari gallery outside Maranello, showcasing the most exclusive range of classic and contemporary Ferrari’s from all over the world.
• Junior GT – A driving school for children with expert instruction where they will drive reduced scale F430 GT Spiders on an equipped driving course.
• Junior Grand Prix – After the Junior GT driving experience, budding F1TM drivers can enjoy the race track in scaled down Ferrari F1TM racers.
• The Racing Legends – A ride through Ferrari’s greatest racing moments starting from the first races all the way to today’s F1 victories.
• Driving with Champions – An interactive 3-D show which follows the adventures of a young engineer who is taken on the ride of a lifetime with a racing champion on his first day working at the Ferrari factory
• Cinema Maranello – Ferrari World’s own theatre showing ‘Coppa di Sicilia’, a short film that tells one of the many inspiring stories from the life of the legendary Enzo Ferrari.
• Junior Training Camp – An interactive play area for children where they can engage with a waterless car wash, become custom ‘constructors’, climb up the grandstand, pilot remote cars, peddle their own miniature Ferrari and play with an F1TM car made of soft, guest-friendly foam.
• Carousel – Featuring never-before-seen Ferrari prototypes based on winning designs from a Ferrari competition.
• Dining and Shopping – A range of concept restaurants and cafes offering authentic Italian dining experiences, in addition to unique shopping locations.

Better than a go on the tea cups at Funderland any day.

Well, there’s little chance that Merlin Auctions are going to have one of these at their next SuperCar Auction, so I think we’re safe in saying that we’ll never get the chance to own it.

Bar winning the Euromillions or posting a flattering ad on billgatesmailordermansluts.com and sucking your way to car heaven.  Alas, until that happens, we can only dream.

AMG claims this car shares no structural elements with other Benzes, and built it just to show how sporty they can build a Mercedes. We believe it, heck – watching the video below I’m half expecting it to “Transform” into something inspired by Optimus Prime. The car looks… awe inspiring. It sounds… amazing.

Never mind that.  If I ever did win the Euromillions or found myself on the business end of a Microsoft facial nightly, I’d buy myself a giant house with a giant garage.

That garage would be so awesome that it would have a life all of its own and it would probably get horny.

This would be the €200,000 dildo to scratch that itch.

With the SLS AMG E-CELL, Mercedes-AMG is providing a glimpse of its latest development project – a powerful and locally emission-free super sports car. The gullwing offers a glimpse at a possiblesmall series production vehicle and at the same time reflects the innovative strength and development expertise of the AMG performance brand.

“We take social responsibility very seriously and with the SLS AMG E-CELL we are demonstrating a further milestone in our “AMG Performance 2015″ strategy. It is our goal to continually reduce the fuel consumption and emissions of new models in the coming years, while at the same time enhancing the core brand value of performance”, explains Ola Källenius, chairman of the board (from 1 July 2010) of Mercedes-AMG GmbH. With the SLS AMG E-CELL, the performance brand of Mercedes-Benz is launching a totally innovative drivetrain for super sports cars, reaching new territory in this market segment.

The ground-breaking drive system boasts some impressive highlights: powerful traction is provided by four synchronous electric motors with a combined peak output of 526 hp and a maximum torque of 649 lb-ft. The four compact electric motors each achieve a maximum rpm of 12,000 rpm and are positioned near the wheels. As a result, compared with wheel-hub motors the unsprung masses are substantially reduced. One transmission per axle transmits the power.

Ah sure, it’ll do for getting you from A to B.

Well, in theory anyway.

It was only last week that we did a bit on the new Aston and joked that we’d never find such a thing at the Merlin Auctions.  No sooner had it hit the front page of Boob.ie that Dave Byrne, MD or Merlin Car Auctions got in touch.

While they haven’t got an Aston on offer this time, what they have on offer isn’t three bad at all!

Personally if I had this collection of cars I’d fudge the books Anglo stylee and keep them all myself, but Dave doesn’t feel the same:

“The Celtic Tiger may have roared its last, but a car auction next week will see some of it’s most prized possessions go under the hammer. Merlin Car Auction’s Prestige sale takes place next Wednesday, July 14th at 7pm, and includes some of the best luxury cars the market has to offer.

The highlight of the auction will be a 2008 Audi R8, a jaw-droppingly beautiful car that stands out from the crowd! Touted by motoring guru Jeremy Clarkson as a supercar that “has it licked on all counts”, the Audi R8 has a price tag of €200,000 when purchased new. This luxurious sleek black motor has less than 24,000 miles on the clock and auction sources believe that interested bidders could pick up a bargain on the day.

Features on the Audi R8 include a trip tronic gearbox semi automatic, alloys, CD changer, multiple airbags, anti theft system, navigation system, rain sensor, leather upholstery, Xenon lights, park distance control, outside tempreture sensor, lumbar support and electrically adjustable seats.

Other luxury cars up for auction next week include an array of Jaguar XKR, Porsche 911, Carrera 4 S, BMW X5, Audi A6, Mercedes C180, Landrover Discovery and BMW 535 M Sport. A preliminary auction catalogue is available at www.merlincarauctions.ie/prestige”

“That’s all very well” we hear you say.

Well, we weren’t letting Dave here get away that easy, so we caught up with him for a few questions:

These are the pictures we’ve gotten hold of the new special edition flagship for the V8 Vantage range, the N420.

Taking its name from the output of its tuned 420bhp 4.7-litre V8 engine, the new 180mph V8 is available to order now as a Roadster or Coupe, with either the six-speed manual or optional Sportshift automated manual transmission.

That is of course if you can afford one.  I was up at the Merlin auctions recently and saw a tasty looking 2007 Focus, fully loaded go for a sickening €3,750.

That’s the recession and banks taking whatever they can for repossessed cars to thank there.  We doubt you’ll find an Aston in the Merlin lot.  And if you did, it wouldn’t go for that kind of money.

The N420 is 27kg lighter than the standard car, and features wider sills, a carbon fibre splitter and diffuser, and gloss black 10-spoke alloys. Black mesh vents and new tailpipe finishers complete the look.

On the inside, the Vantage gets graphite-coloured instruments, lightweight carbon fibre seats and a leather or Alcantara steering wheel.

Also included is the optional Sports Pack which includes revised springs, dampers and anti-roll bars for even more responsive and dynamic handling, and Aston’s sports exhaust. A choice of striking paint finishes, including the bright green, which earned one of Aston’s entries into the Nürburgring 24-hour race the nickname Kermit, are available.

Production of the V8 Vantage N420 begins this month, with deliveries commencing in August and prices starting from around €115,000.

In fact, never mind this series of Cars we’ll never own, why don’t we just do a whip around, buy one and take turns?

I’ll take it on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and every second, third, fourth and first Saturday of the month.

Then the rest of you can fight over the rest of the availability.

Sounds fair to me.

Hamanahamanahamana.

There are a few times in a man’s life when it’s permitted for him to use such a phrase.

One could be when he found himself within licking distance of Hannah Montana’s sausage wallet.

Another could be when he gets up in the morning and finds one of these bad boys parked in the driveway courtesy of the Fair Play Fairy.

This beauty is the new Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Super Sport.

Bugatti is claiming a new production car top speed record with a combined two-run average of 267.9 mph (431.072 kph) with a new Veyron 16.4 Super Sport model, smashing the 253.76 mph record set by a standard Veyron 16.4 in 2005.

It also betters the existing world record mark of 256.23 mph (412.28 kph) established by Shelby SuperCars with its Ultimate Aero on a 12-mile stretch of road in Nevada in 2007.

Confirming details of the attempt run under tight security at parent company Volkswagen’s 13-mile Ehra-Lessien test track in late June, Bugatti says the new Super Sport set the record in the hands of its test driver, Pierre-Henri Raphanel, and under the auspices of officials from the Guinness Book of Records.

In the first round of the attempt running counter-clockwise against a prevailing wind, the Super Sport hit 265.96 mph. It then went on to reach a wind-assisted 269.86 mph in a clockwise direction, giving the powered up Veyron 16.4 a combined average of 267.91 mph.

Details provided by Bugatti claim the 0-to-62-mph time remains at 2.5 seconds. However, the Super Sport’s 0 to 124 mph and 0 to 186 mph times are said to have been lowered to just 7.3 seconds and 15.0 seconds, respectively.

Bugatti has built 260 copies of the Veyron 16.4 at its boutique assembly plant at Molsheim, France, and 249 have been delivered to customers.

But to be honest, priced at €1.95m and given that no insurance company would even answer the phone to you for a quote, you’d get more fun and mileage out of Hannah’s honey pot.

It’d make your friends more jealous too.