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SPOILER ALERTS!

Well, only if you’ve been living under rocks for the last forever and haven’t seen the following movies.  They’re not really spoilers, sort of.

Every movie needs a villain, other wise the hero would have nothing to over come.  The job of the villain is to give us someone to hate, fear, or laugh at and not with.

Rather than bitch and moan between them, Maxi and Paddy put their list together and trimmed it down.  Here’s a few we agree on and one that has us split…..

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*For the seven people left alive who have yet to see any of the films mentioned below, there’s a load of spoilers*

There are tons of actors, singers, band, whatever that are completely overrated.  So hyped up by the media, critics and their peers by way of awards and appreciation.

Of course most of them are great at what they do, or at least they were once or twice and that’s why they get awards, and more movie work.

There’s no actor who has ever been awarded for every piece of work they do, because no one is that good.

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Boob.ie’s favourite 90’s experience are back again in Leeson Street’s Sugar Club this coming Saturday and we are giving one of our lucky readers a chance to win tickets for them and one of their friends.

I’ve been to all of their previous gigs in the Sugar Club and I cannot stress to you how good the night is. It really has to be seen to be believed and I’m not saying that because I fancy the hole off every girl in the band!

Two months ago there was a Baywatch themed night, last month saw the Pulp Fiction themed night and this month it is the turn of the X-Files. So dress up as an alien or an FBI agent and you get in half price!! You can’t say fairer than that.

And before you start using the feeble excuse that your other half won’t let you out on Saturday because she wants you to watch a Tesco singer or some other fame hungry wannabe raping a song from Simon Cowell’s back catalogue, fear not! Pump Up The Jam have arranged the X-Factor to be screened before the Karaoke, giving you the opportunity to at least have some food and a few beers while your ears get violated (and not in the good way).

Pizza is served all night and you can get a bottle of wine for a tenner with one.

If you do not have a vagina, you can just get 6 bottles of Sol for €20!

Paddy belts out Discotheque while Missy Lee looks on with lust in her eyes

The real fun and festivities kick off after the X-Factor with 90’s Karaoke and then the band rocking the stage afterwards. If ever there was an antidote to the poison that is the X-Factor, Pump Up The Jam are the syringe that intravenously cures us all.

Expect to hear old classics like “Rhythm is a Dancer” “Thunderstruck” and “No Good (Start the Dance) “ among the many hits that are played throughout the night.

If you lived through the 90’s then you owe it to yourself to be there on Saturday!  You’ll get to see the finest 90′s band alive as well as meeting some of the Boob.ie crew!  What more could you want?

Check out this promo video and leave a comment here or on our facebook page to be in with a chance to win yourself a couple of tickets to this “can’t miss” event!

Tickets are €10 / €5 if in costume

Story horse?

You can’t escape the X Factor this year.

Is it because the Irish can finally vote for their favourite act?

Is it because that Mary Mrs has now become the national mascot for the filthiest, dirtiest, customer hatingest supermarket chain ever?

Maybe it’s because of the two.  Let’s have a look at it.

The braindead die hard fans of X Factor on this side of the pond have always felt a little duped that they couldn’t get in on the action.  I can understand it, you watch it, read about it, follow all the stories, hate Louis Walsh like the rest of us, so why not be given the chance to vote some sad flamboyant cunt off it?

I’ll tell you why.

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1.  When they’re alone, foreigners all prefer to speak English to each other.

2.  If being chased through a city, you can take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade.  At any time of year.

3.  All beds have L shaped sheets that reach up to armpit level on the woman, but only waist high on the man lying beside her.

4.  The Chief of Police will either suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to complete the job.

5.  All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

6.  Anyone can land a plane provided there is someone to talk them down.

7.  The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place, no one will ever look for you there and you can also access any other part of the building from there.

8.  Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are partnered up with their complete polar opposite.

9.  The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

10.  All bombs are fitted with large digital LED read outs so that you can tell exactly when it’s going to go off.

11.  If you need to reload your gun you will always have more ammunition even if you haven’t been carrying any to begin with.

12.  Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, you need not speak German.  A strong German accent will do the job.

13.  You will almost certainly survive any battle or war scene, unless you tell a tearful reminiscent story of your mother or show a picture of your sweet heart waiting for you back home.

14.  If your town is threatened by a huge natural disaster/meteorite/huge snarling alien then your mayor’s first concern will be his forthcoming election/art exhibit.

15.  A man will show no signs of pain when having the shite beaten out of him, but wince when a woman cleans his wounds.

16.  When paying for a taxi, never look in your wallet.  Just grab whatever is in there and hand it over, it will always be the exact fare.

17.  Kitchens don’t have light switches.  When entering a kitchen at night, just open the fridge door and use the light from that.

18.  If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

19.  Mothers will routinely cook a full breakfast with all the trimmings for their family, even though the family never has time to eat any of it.

20.  All American telephone numbers begin with 555.

21.  Cars that crash will almost certainly burst into flames.

22.  A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of the RDS.

Perfect what? Oh, right. Teeth.

23.  Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

24.  Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

25.  It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye at the start or the end of a phone conversation.

26.  Even when driving down a straight road it is essential that you turn the wheel from left to right every moment or so.

27.  It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

28.  A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

29.  It doesn’t matter if you are involved in a fight heavily involving martial arts.  Your opponents will all patiently attack you one by one dancing around in a threatening manner while you beat the snot out of the others.

30.  When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

31.  No one ever involved in a car crash/alien invasion/hijacking/explosion/volcanic eruption/zombie take over will ever go into shock.

32.  Once applied, lipstick will never rub off, even while scuba diving.

33.  You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

34.  Any lock can be picked with a credit card/chainsaw in a hurry when needed.  Except when there’s a kid trapped in a burning building.

35.  Explosions are every day things and should never be looked at.

Ok so everything about that title is vulgar, but this Boobie Tuesday we’re taking a look at some of the sexiest videos that music video has given us in recent memory.

The thing about music videos, especially the sexy ones are that if they want to be seen on tv they can be on the safe side of sexy.  Like Sharon Ni Bheolain uttering the word moist in a report on flooding.

If it’s sexy enough, you’ll be dreaming about the son of a bitch as it goes into rotation everywhere.

Then there are the ones that are beyond booty shaking sexiness and spurt themselves directly into soft core porn territory.  You’ll still see them, but you’ll have to ask your mammy if you can stay up that late.

Here’s a few that still gives us a tingle in our trousers when we see them…..

Eric Prydz – Call on me

The inspiration to the smutty title of this piece and a master class.  The only thing missing from this video is the cumshot.

I mean look at the gyration, the crotch close up shots and the hot chick getting herself off with a towel.  Many a hungover Sunday mornings I’ve cracked one out on the couch while this played on the tv.  It would sometimes bring an awkward air to my nana’s prayer mornings, but still.  Good times.

Christina Aguilera – Dirrty

Now there’s not a red blooded male reading this today who didn’t see this for the first time and get immediately taken back to the time when he first saw his older sister’s friends getting changed through a crack in the door.

You shouldn’t like watching this, but dammit you do.

The chaps, the tiny skirt and the ass shaking moves.  Plus, she says dirrty and filthy an awful lot.

Benny Benassi – Who’s Your Daddy?

Never heard of him?  You won’t forget him in a hurry after this video.

Seven words.  Two.  Hot.  Chicks.  Licking.  Ice.  Cream.  Cone.

Albi VS Rockerfella – Sexual Healing

Shit remix to a classic choon, but still the video made sure that it caught my attention.  I doubt it set many dancefloors alight, but it made my trousers tight.  HA!  See what I did there?  A little poem.

Hot nurse types doing things that the ordinary nurse probably wouldn’t be doing in her normal working day.

And of course, we couldn’t have a list of sexy music videos without featuring  this one…..

Lapdance – N.E.R.D

Who among us hasn’t seen this video come on the telly only to secretly cross our fingers hoping it was the completely unsafe for work or viewing with your mammy version?

Proper filth that needs no further introduction.  (For obvious reasons, not a Youtube vid)

And before we finish off we must point you towards our mates over at Lateformass.com who have a suggestion of their own.

Plus, here’s a couple of honourable mentions in the form of Charlotte Church (she’ll give me a horn anytime) and an outfit by the name of MSTRKRFT with a song called Easy Love.  Hot chicks sucking on things and swirling their tongues around stuff while they stare seductively into the camera?

Oh go on then.

What’s your all time fave sexy video?

After almost 2 months of neglecting this little series I tried…and so far failed, to get going…IT’S BACK!! Everyone’s favorite, holier than thou, guide to music you probably haven’t heard of or wont like “because you just don’t get it, maaaan” has returned. That’s right…get ready for the newest installment of Whats That Sound?

This week we’re going to set sail for the frosty shores of Iceland, more specifically Reykjavík. Freezing their balls of in the worlds northernmost capital are four of rocks hidden treasures: Krummi (vocals), Bjarni (guitar), Bjossi (drums) and Siggi (bass)…collectively know as Mínus.

***To get a feel for them while your read, here’s a song of theirs called:

“Angel In Disguise“.

Mínus (L-R): Bjarni, Siggi, Krummi, Bjossi

Mínus was originally formed in 1999 (I can only guess) releasing their debut album “Hey Johnny!” in October of the same year, but it wasn’t until two years later in 2001 when they exploded onto the underground rock scene with their sophomore offering “Jesus Christ Bobby“. Described as an “exercise in white noise and aural extremities”, it gained them considerable praise and attention from the likes of NME, Kerrang and various other rock publications. Next up was the all important third album…

For me, an artists third album is usually the make or break album (in relation to these kinds of bands that is, where million dollar producers aren’t really in the budget). A debut album is usually the band trying to find their feet and carve out a sound for themselves. The sophomore album is where a band need to impress, building up the fan based by refining their sound, cutting the fat from the debut and produce a solid effort. The third album is usually the decisive album. Either they put all their eggs in one basket and try make the second album again and hope people aren’t bored of it or they can explore new areas and build on their already established sound. There are risks with both choices, you could end up turning into Greenday or go too far the opposite direction and end up lost up your own arse in a sea of reverb like Enya!

The cover of "Halldór Laxness"

I’m very happy to say that Mínus found a perfect balance and in 2003 they released the brilliant “Halldór Laxness“. This is the album that first introduced me to the band. Back in the days when I working as a waiter, I’d take all my tips at the end of my shift and buy as many CDs as I could with what I had. One day in HMV, I saw a CD cover that caught my attention, it reminded me of the cover from the Pixies album “Planet Of Sound” (the one with the eyeball in a bowl). So naturally, being an idiot I bought the album purely on the merit of the album cover. I didn’t listen to it for a year…no reason really, I just didn’t (it still had the security sticker on it a year later).

When I eventually cracked it open I was blown away. The album had a great mix of aggression and melody with an almost cocky essence about it. If Josh Homme grew up in Iceland, he would  have written something like this. On the back of this album alone they supported acts such as Metallica, QOTSA, Foo Fighters and Muse (to name but a few), as well as earning a spot on the Main Stage at the Leeds Festival in 2004. Their fourth and most recent album, entitled “The Great Northern Whalekill” (Pantera fans will get that reference) which was released in 2007 further builds on the sound of “Halldór Laxness” with added elements of melody that make the songs even catchier.

The reason I got to like these guys so much, besides from the music itself, was their drummer. Bjossis drumming drives the songs along with such immense power, and groove that its just a pleasure to listen to. His style is very much like Dave Grohl, simple and solid but with an ear for detail. Playing the simple groove or fill where other drummers would have went nuts.

I couldn’t recommend these guys enough, sure…not everyone will like them, but if you’re looking for something a bit different than the usual rock stuff you listen too…check them out. If you’re interesting in buying some of their stuff, start with “Halldór Laxness” and “The Great Northern Whalekill” and then work your way back to the more…loud stuff! According to their Facebook page as well, they are currently nearing completion on their fifth, as yet untitled, album.

Ill leave you with the only other song that I could find on Youtube: “The Long Face” off “Halldór Laxness”…enjoy!

Originally from Chicago, but now basing themselves in Los Angeles, Ok Go are a band that seem to be more famous for their videos than their music.

Well to me any way.

I’ll admit I know nothing about them, other than their video that was done on the treadmills, you know the one….

They won a Grammy for that and it was parodied to within an inch of its life. Well either they got the taste for Grammy’s or they just realised the power of viral videos on the net.

In a time when music stations don’t play music videos anymore, preferring their own shite produced content with cunts called Snooki and The Situation there are few people left putting much effort into their videos, if producing them at all.

And while some others will blow their entire marketing budget on a single video with a Hype Williams visual wankathon or a boring performance video, the lads in Ok Go like it simple.

Sort of.

Their above video on the Treadmills was filmed in a single shot, but probably took ages to rehearse and plan.  They seem to have kept that formula.

The following video for End Love wasn’t filmed in a single shot, but was made to give the impression that it was while at the same time having a stop motion animation feel as well as some Matrix style camera work.

Nice.

Their latest single and video, White Knuckles was filmed in a single take and I shudder to think how long it took to plan, rehearse and get right.  But as well as giving us something to watch while the song sinks in without us realising it, it raises awareness for an animal charity.  Which seems to be the thing to do.

I wonder how many times they nearly got to the end before a dog decided not to do what it was supposed to.

But my favourite video of theirs is one that just boggles my mind in the planning, execution and patience needed to pull something like this off.

Like the game Mouse Trap that we played as a kid, where the trap never went off without having to fix bits along the way.  Or even the more impressive Honda ad that took days to film, but it was all done in a single shot when they finally did get it.

This is the video for This Too Shall Pass.

Judging by the state of them all at the start of the shot, it took quite some time to get it right, but the end result was worth it.

Song isn’t too bad on the ears either.

I’m not going to regurgitate some Wikipedia entries about them, what I’ll do is tell you that if you want to know more about them, you should find it on okgo.net.

I’m continuing my campaign to Bring Back the 90’s and it would be ridiculous not to review these guys. Pump Up the Jam are quite simply, the best 90’s experience you can have. There is no question about it. I’ve been to see them in two very different venues this week and both times, I was blown away.

It’s hard to put your finger on what sets them apart from other 90’s acts. It’s not one specific detail, its more like many details that they just do better. They are kitsch without being camp, fun without being “wacky” and importantly, they are great without being shit.

They kick off the nights with 90’s Karaoke Competition to get the crowd involved and it seems to go down a treat and works nicely to warm the crowd up. But it really is only an appetizer for the main act.

Paddy belts out Discotheque while Missy Lee looks on with lust in her eyes

There aren’t many bands that have a stage presence like they do. Maybe it’s my love for nostalgia, but I do like seeing half the band walk onstage in boiler suits. And then you have their guitar wielding frontman called Daddy Mac. I hate to say it but the fucker is brilliant. He exudes confidence and can work the crowd like a true pro. It says a lot when he can get away with wearing a top hat without looking like a complete dick and naming himself Daddy Mac without me wanting to punch him.   It does help him that he is flanked with 3 extremely sexy and talented women.

Missy Lee is a visual magnet. When the girl is onstage, its almost impossible to take your eyes off her (not that you would want to – she’s super do-able).  Just the right mix of cheeky and sexy.  She’s got some pipes on her too. Winnie tickles the ivorys like a pro and Susan belts  and belt out the 90’s classics effortlessly and both of them never seem to put a foot wrong. And brilliantly, the look as good as they sound. They are absolutely stunning. The bass and drums are looked after by the bizarrely named 303 and 808 respectively and they are boilersuit wearing musical dynamos.   It seems like you are listening to a recording. It is hard to believe that these guys are playing and singing live.

If I had one criticism, it would be the fact that they only play early 90’s tunes. It would be nice to see some of the era’s later tunes given some attention. It’s not a major criticism though as their set list is packed full of bone-fide classics that keep you rocking and raving all the way through.  The set list includes Rhythm is a Dancer, Mr Vain, No Good (Start the Dance) and even ACDC’s Thunderstruck.  Fucking brilliant.

The Sugar Club is the ideal venue for this event. It’s not too big to make it feel like a nightclub and it’s small enough to make it an intimate experience. Last Saturday was the Pulp Fiction themed night (Pump Fiction) and gave the band an opportunity to host a Jack Rabbit Slims Twist Contest and record this deadly promo.

Opening with the classic Miserlou theme music from Pulp Fiction, the band had the whole audience eating from the palm of their hands all the way from start to finish.

Then last night I met up with them at the DCU Student Bar. Slightly worse for wear after enjoying the Perfect Pint Pouring tutorial in the Secret Bar, I was ready to mingle with the youngsters and show them how us old folk do it. However, I was shocked and appalled to witness what I witnessed.

The students weren’t half as pissed as they should have been. The girls weren’t all slutty and promiscuous and the guys looked like they’d rather spend their money on GHD’s and moisturiser. What in the name of jaysis has become of the youth of today!? Youth truly is wasted on the young.

Anyway, whether it was due to the lack of promotion or the fact that most of these whippersnappers were born in 1993, the venue was pretty empty. As the band were about to take to the stage there was only about 10 people in the audience. That all changed as soon as the band kicked off though.

Within seconds of the 1^st song starting, the dance floor was filled with students, bopping away. Daddy Mac was again controlling the crowd with ease and even joining them for a dance when the girls sang their songs. Nothing more terrifying than seeing a man in a top hat dancing with children. It’s was like some creepy paedofilic version Willy Wonka.

Pump Up The Jam and the Oversized T-Shirt

After a few more beers I decided it would be a good idea to get in on this dancing lark and show the kids how it should be done. In a moment I am really not proud of, I challenged a group of young lads to a dance off thinking I could recreate the magic of the video for It’s Like that by Run DMC vs Jason Nevins. Needless to say, I won the dance off, but lost my dignity.

The highlight of the night for me was when the shagtastic Missie Lee decided to join me on the dancefloor. After my humbling and embarrassing dance off, this gave me some air of coolness. Here I was, in the DCU, representing the country’s best men’s website and the girl from the band came to dance with me. How fucking cool was I?

Not very it turns out.

Missy Lee danced and boogied with me for a while and then whispered in my ear “You were good on the Karaoke last week, but jaysis, you’re a shite dancer” before returning to the stage and finishing the set. She’s lucky I fancy her, otherwise I would have gone all Mel Gibson on her.

So to sum it up, if you haven’t seen Pump Up the Jam yet, you do not know what you are missing. They are the complete package. In fact, if Pump Up The Jam were a man, I’d fuck it. That’s how much I like them.

We’re going to team up with Pump Up The Jam and we will be running competitions for tickets to their gig on the 23^rd of October in the Sugar Club, so keep an eye on Boob.ie and get ready to get the Jam Pumped out of you.