I don’t know what else I can say really.

Serbian designer Milos Paripovic came up with this design concept as a bit of a laff but I don’t doubt that there are Apple fans out there would give their right bollock to have one.

“It just works”

“No fuss, simple sleek design and seem less performance”

“It’s just the right shape for your arse”

Yeah, but it doesn’t support Flush!

GEDDIT?

Fuck it.

Anyone who looks at these pictures and says to themselves “That would be the most awesomest thing in the world” deserves to be shot.  In the face.  With a hedgehog gun.  And the hedgehogs are on fire.  Acid fire.  And they bite.

Call it what you want.

The iShite, iShit, iPoo, iDump, iDropthekidsoffatthepool, iBackoneout, iAmtouchingcloth.

We’re calling it the iJacks, because we’re Irish so what else are we gonna call it?

Click the pics for bigger

Via

One reason why I haven’t had any nightmares of my Atari deprived childhood in say a year, is because I have an iPad and I foooking love it! But once in a while it’s nice to bring back memories of playing Atari at me mates houses while my Shitari lay broken in the corner of my bedroom.

The Atari Duo-Powered Joystick for the iPad is a great way to relive those old bitter, jealous filled days.

This joystick is a little different from the old school console system, but the ball on top and the four buttons are all helpful when playing a game.

How much fun would it be to take a break from Bulletstorm or Saints Row to play Asteroids, Centipede and Missile Command?! Classic games have made a strong comeback thanks to handheld devices like the iPad. Of course, playing old arcade games on a touch screen just isn’t the same as it was with a joystick. The Atari Arcade Duo Powered Joystick turns your iPad into a mini arcade machine, and now you don’t have to nick money from your ma’s purse to play.

Simply connect your iPad to the Atari Arcade, download Atari’s Greatest Hits app for Duo, and you’re ready to go! With its joystick and buttons, Atari Arcade Duo Powered is exactly the way arcade games were meant to be played.

Atari’s Greatest Hits app for Atari Arcade is designed for 1-2 players.

You can buy one from Amazon or Apple for about €50.

The mere thought of it makes me come out in cold sweats that I’d break my gadget.

Not because I’m a technophobe, but because I’m a lazy fucker and if I did mess it up I wouldn’t have the patience to get it back to the way it was.

I mean, I only changed the theme on my HTC the other day and all my shit was all over the place.  I still haven’t put it back the way I had it.  Pure lazy.

But for those of you who aren’t so lazy, who love Apple products but hate that there’s fuck all in the way of customisation, you’ll dig this.

News started going around last Friday about a jailbreak download, along with tips, advice and warnings.

Available for download, the new build makes use of pod2g’s “corona” exploit and is the result of combined efforts from the iPhone Dev Team, the Chronic Dev team and iOS hacker pod2g. The tool that enables iOS devices with A5 processors to be jailbroken has been dubbed “Absinthe A5,” and users need to load the Greenpois0n website on their devices in order to trigger the jailbreak. Users having problems loading the site in Safari should simply go into Settings and enable VPN — after about a minute, the device will reboot and the jailbreak will be applied. iPhone 4S users running iOS 5.0 and iOS 5.0.1 and iPad 2 owners running iOS 5.0.1 can download Absinthe for OS X via the read link below to apply. Unfortunately, there is still no option for Windows users looking for an iPhone 4S or iPad 2 untethered jailbreak for the time being.

Ah well, big news for those of you who know about this sort of stuff.

For those of you who don’t, don’t worry about it.  We have you covered in the next sentence.

iPhone’s are sexy.

In case you missed it, here’s the LINK for the break.

I have so many of them, and I got such a horn when I saw the HYT H1 watch!

HYT is a new watch brand, HYT stands for Hydro Mechanical Horologists. Betcha they’re not cunty horologists like that little shit John Joe.

The H1 is the company’s first official watch, it’s first timepiece ever to combine mechanical and liquid engineering. It represents a new concept in watch making that’ll take the world by storm.

Click here to view the embedded video.

“H1 is a proprietary Swiss movement with a 65 hour power reserve and manual winding – driving a unique high-tech fluidic module.”

The company will produce stylish watches which not only contain liquid but also use liquid for a functional purpose. The HYT H1 Watch will be available in three cases: titanium, red gold and black coated titanium with seriously swanky luminescent green yellow liquid ring around the dial.

This liquid displays the hours on a circular tube around the edge of the dial with two piston looking devices on the bottom of the dial which push and pull the liquid to show the time on the scale. The minutes are displayed by a medium sized sub dial near the centre of the top of the watch with a paddle wheel style seconds hand to the left.

You want it so bad now too don’t ya?

Sure I’ll get one in each style they only cost about €35,000, well the titanium one does, I’d assume the gold one and the black titanium might cost a bit more though, but hell I’m worth it!

I love the concept of something shiny and out of my price range.  I love it the way women love shoes that they can’t afford.

And this, lads, is my Christian Louboutin.  If you don’t know what they are, then you’re obviously straight and single.

Yes, it’s designed to do what you think it will.

A laptop with integrated and removable digital camera, mobile phone and tablet.

Holy sweet Jesus titty fucking Dog the Bounty Hunter.

I want it.

I suppose it’s only a matter of time before it’ll happen anyway.  Cables are ghey and it should make sense that all things should just slot together like some sort of sordid gadget clusterfuck.  The only downfall is that each gadget will have to have the same brand logo on it and operate the same software.

I mean, I can’t for some reason pair the bluetooth on my iMac to my HTC.  Apple blame HTC and HTC say it’s Apple’s fault.

But when a company comes out and says “Fuck that shit for a bunch of bananas, we’ll do it all ourselves”, you can only rejoice.  That is until the iPhone fanboys bitch that they’ll never use a Fujitsu android over their next gen wallet rape.  And MacBook users will smugly sit there and declare that when Apple robs it, perfects it and makes all your apple products work like this concept that we’ll all be sorry we didn’t wait.

I say fuck that.

This nice and sexy piece of kit may only be a concept, but the way technology is moving these days, I’ll be surprised if we don’t see something similar next year, if not this exact design.

You can detach its camera and use it as a digital camera, detach the tablet and use it as such or attach it and use it as the laptop’s keyboard or touch drawing area. There’s also a phone that you can insert into a special area and I guess that this device incorporates the CPU and storage space used by the laptop. The Fujitsu laptop may be bulky, but it’s still an interesting and original design you might want to keep an eye on.

I particularly like the idea of having both a tablet and a laptop in a single gadget and connected through a 16 pin docking area. Data is available right away and the device is sensed immediately, also adding some new features to the laptop. I imagine that some virtual game controls will also add to the experience, once they’re displayed on the slate’s screen.

As nice an idea as it is to have the tablet double as a keyboard, it will also be its major downfall.  Single finger typing on a tablet is fine, but using it as a physical keyboard just isn’t the same.

Of course with all these devices you have to wonder what software they’ll all run.  Android for tablet and phone?  What then for the main unit?  Sure by then there’ll probably be full Android laptops on sale, this might even be the product to head that up.

No price or release date yet, as it is still a concept, but as I said, I reckon it’s on the way.

What do you reckon?

I reckon I want one.

How amazingballs would that be?

I thought stuff like this was fooking light years away, but it’s happened already and those Apple bothering dudes over at Samsung are the ones doing it.

This is the stuff of the future man.

They’ll have this stuff in interview rooms on Law and Order and CSI and shit.

“The suspect’s not talking”

“Fuck it, lash on some angry birds there”

It’ll cost a pretty penny when it goes on sale next year, but sure by the time any of us can afford anything more than a picture of this, it’ll have dropped in price and Aldi will have their own version of it.

We could well be on our way to hoverboards and floating cars and time machines by 2015.

Check it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

It was only a matter of time I suppose.

But given that the whole recording industry was having a communal conniption about the concept that CD’s would no longer be sold, I thought it would have happened a whole lot quicker than this.

Going by numbers released in the U.S. over the last day or two, digital downloads are responsible for 50.3% of total sales of recorded music sold in the last twelve months.

OK, so it’s not a massive majority, but it’s on the way.

I’ll bet that smug git Steve Jobs is grinning from his single aluminium cased coffin.  After all, when he released iTunes over ten years ago, along with the iPod, he said he’d reinvent the music industry.  We all laughed and waited to see what Microsoft would do.

We’re not laughing now.

On top of the numbers of digital sales increasing, physical sales have fallen by a further 5%.  This is being blamed on illegal downloading and other such bold stuff.  Still, if the music industry keeps going the way they are we’ll have to run out and check next time they tell us it’s raining.  Wasn’t it them who told us that illegal download percentages were already in the double digits to scare governments and ISP’s?  For shame you lying gits.  Although overall album sales are up a total of 1.3%.

In particular Adele’s “21″ sold over 5.3m units in the states alone, topping nearly 10 million worldwide.  Not too shabby.  And make all the fat jokes you want, but I totally would.

Personally I’d love to see digital sales take over completely.  No more poncy artwork on CD’s.  No more being judged as a 32 year old man who goes into Tower Records to buy another copy of Jagged Little Pill to cheer yourself up with and being judged by whatever shower dodging dread lock wearing charity mugger on a day off is working there.

Fuck you!

Just because I don’t know the funky soundtrack you’ve got going on when I’m browsing around for some Ugly Kid Joe.  (Google him kids, he’s mega)  (Fuck it, don’t bother, here’s the first single I ever bought on CASSETTE!)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Fuck you music industry, get over it.

I remember a time before the internet.

I remember a time before mobile phones.

There are people reading this who are young enough to not know the same things.

But technology is moving at an increasingly progressive rate as months, not even years go by.

Some benefit more than others.

Here’s a little infographic that I got a faceless minion here at the Boobiedome to lash together, highlighting some of the interesting facts and numbers from 2011′s tech and gadget news.  Don’t feel bad about me taking all the credit, they get to look at boobs all day.

But we’re better because our lists always are.

One of my presents this year was a stack of magazines.  I love magazines, read them all.  Apart from GQ.

It’s the most pretentious, up its own hole piece of crap that makes me want to hurt small animals and hit small children about the face with a pointy fish.  Much like another Irish site that I could name, but I’m bigger than that.

Of the 300 pages in the edition of GQ I found in my stocking, 172 of them were ads.  I shit you not.  That’s close to 60% for all of you stat happy nerds.

I have to give props to the sales department.

“Um hi, got some over priced shite with a one time celebrity air brushed to the point of being unable to recognise them?  Well you’re in luck, because for our astronomical fees hyped up by inflated sales figures that should be down on last year, but we’ve fluffed up to be not so much, you can be lost in among hundreds more just like you.”

And it works.  At least 60% of the time.  I’m pretty sure they could get more if they wanted.

It must be the Vogue for men.  I dunno, like I said I don’t read it, but flicking through the one I got this Christmas they had a 100 Brilliant Things list.  It got me thinking that surely they’ll have missed out on some of the true great things of the last 12 months in favour of product placement to ensure 60% ads for the coming year.

So here’s what I’ll do, I’ll take 5 from their list and compare it to 5 actually brilliant things.

I bet we win already for that original idea!

GQ – Burberry Trench

Fig 1 - Rosie naked under a mac. Yeah, she's alright I suppose.

They say – “The iconic trench coat goes up a few gears in the allure transmission.  Burberry’s chief creative officer Christopher Bailey has chosen to focus on the female form for his Nude collection.  Top pick is the double breasted trench for her, which is tailored in a tactile satin fabric to make it possible the sexiest coat in the world.

The clincher – If ever there was a coat for her to wear with nothing under neath, this is it.  £895.  Burberry.com.”

Boob.ie – The Onesie

Fig 2 - Some random model who thinks this will be her big break in a onesie. Hot stuff right there.

We say – “A fucking trench coat?  A fucking woman’s trench coat?  Are you not a magazine for men?  Yes a naked lady in a trench coat is sexy.  But you know what’s sexier?  A woman in a onesie!  But as sexy as a woman looks in one (see fig 2), we reckon that any man should have one.  I have one and it’s the best thing I’ve ever slipped my entire body into.  

The clincher – They’re about €20.  Nearly a thousand blips on a rucking rain coat.  Get.  Ta.  Fuck.”

Fig 3 - Have. You. Ever. Seen. The. Like. Of. It?

GQ – Prada Golf Shoes

They say – “Statement shoes are the new logo – you can spot them a mile off and no one does them better than Prada.  GQ loves its take on golf footwear.

The clincher – Combined with a football boot style sole, these give sportswear a whole new meaning. £580.  Prada.com.”

Boob.ie – Boob Shoes

Fig 4 - Boob Shoes. Playing havok with my foot fetish.

We say – “We need say no fucking more really, should we?  I mean in fairness, I’m not ragging on people who play golf.  Each to their own, but if I ever went for a game and saw some ponce wearing those Prada things and walking around thinking he was Meryl Streep or some shit (yeah I don’t understand that reference either, but there’s a joke in there somewhere) I’d have to kill him in the she-cock with fire.”

The clincher – Boob shoes.  What’s to clinch?  Sure they might be Croc type shoes and Crocs are worse than foot herpes, but they’ve got pierced nipples on them!  I’ve never understood women getting excited over shoes.  I do now.”