Two Boobs Good, Four Boobs Better!

It’s been a busy week here at Boob.ie, what with all the Boob Noobs floating about the place and dipping their toes into our little corner of the internet pool.

Next up is Double Trouble who figured she’d start off with some gift ideas for the upcoming Christmas time all you young people seem to be talking about.

A much needed extra female voice here at Boob, she’s not as clean cut as you’d expect from a lady…..

Maxi

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Welcome again to Tech and Gadget news. So lets get to it, as Ben “Yahtzee/Zero Punctuation” Croshaw would say “Allow me to hold your face under the putrescent waters of knowledge”…..

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I’m not the usual Press Start writer, as you all know.  I tend to stay in the Modern Warfare corner, venturing out every now and again to try something different, find it’s nothing like Modern Warfare, bitch about it and head back to Xbox Live to play some more Modern Warfare.

And it was during one of these bouts of MW2 solitude that I heard one of my online buds talking about how “some bastard had turtles on”.

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Here we are again! This week was a good one for tech news (as is every week) and here are my top 5 favourites of the week!

#5 – Skype 5.0 goes out of beta! (Engadget)

Exciting news for people who enjoy Skype! The new release boasts Facebook Connect access so that you can see your usual status updates but also lets you call (via mobile phone numbers) and SMS your friends. There are no links to friends with Skype names at the moment but surely that is something they will update.

The new Skype also allows ten way video calling (although I have yet to try it, getting 10 people online on my Skype is proving difficult, but I have more than 10 friends! I swear!) but its an amazing upgrade. There is also an automatic rec0nnect feature that redials and connects dropped calls. Reports are saying that you don’t even notice it happening. Awesome!

#4 – Apple putting a stop to “Sexting” (CNN)

This is one that caught my eye for obvious reasons. Now lads and ladies, don’t panic! They are not banning all sexy words from our phones (I know, I was scared too) this is a new security feature for parents. It is done in association with the carriers that can either stop the text from reaching the receiver or the device itself can hide the phrase from being displayed.

Its a handy little feature for parents but thankfully wont effect us “adults”. Unless of course people can take advantage of it, and mess with their friends phones…..actually this could be funny! Well its only a patent for the moment, so watch the updates for it to be rolled out.

#3 – Apple gone a step to far!

Ok I did one positive piece of news about Apple this week and here is the negative one! Apple have patented the words “There’s an app for that” in some bizarre turn of events! This is not needed! No one needs to know this! What the hell is next, are they going to patent apples next?? The entire fruit?? Get a life lads!

#2 – Robots learn how not to hurt humans…..by hurting humans? (Engadget)

This is one of the funniest pieces of news I have seen in a while. What is rule number one when building intelligent robots? They should not harm humans! But ask yourself…..how do they know?

I’ll tell you how, they punch you until you cry! Prof Borut Povse designed robots that hit humans in an incremental aggressive manor and asks on a scale, how much it actually hurt. This is a brilliant way of collecting data but what happens when it goes too far? Men will always say “NO, HIT ME AGAIN!”. Suddenly you will have these robots kicking the crap out of people thinking its ok. Its the end of the world I tells ya!

#1 – Boy and dad send HD camera into space (nearly) (CNET)

Words cannot describe how awesome this video is. Luke Geissbuhler and his son Max thought it would be an interesting experiment to set up a HD camera, a GPS and a weather balloon to just see what happens. They got the balloon, attached a parachute that will deploy when the balloon pops and let it loose. It recorded for 100 minutes before coming back to earth in a somewhat peaceful manor landing a mere 30 miles from the launch site in New York. Anyway enough words, lets watch….

That’s all for this week! Again, if you would like anything featured let us know. Thanks for reading and see y’all next week!

P.S. Over the next few days I hope to get my hands on one of the Windows Mobile 7 phones, so I may do a once off article on that. See if it lives up the hype!

Welcome to my second instalment of gadget techno-babble . This week has had a couple things that made me a happy chappy and I picked out my top 5. The world is becoming ever more futuristic and unbelievable. I mean you watch Futurama right? Remember when Fry had a Bavarian cream dog that’s also self-microwaving! This will happen! Anyway, here we go:

#5 – Left 4 Dead 2 released on Mac

Now this is one that will please very few people but it sure made me happy! I loved Left 4 Dead. I cannot actually put my cowardice into words. If it has too much blood or scary demon children, you will find me hiding behind the sofa. But this is action. Guns and catchphrases that a butch manly man would use! Sure there are a few flesh eating zombies but who cares! I have many guns! Well except for the witch, that bitch is crazy!

So now we have it on the ever pompous Mac platform thanks to Steam. If you are online and see one of the characters is suddenly incredibly arrogant and wearing a turtle neck, thats just me on the Mac….

#4 – iPhone 4.1 Jailbroken (Engadget)

I know, I know, yet more Apple news but I can’t help it. This one is a tad controversial anyways. Hacker Geohot is back on the scene (the creator of the blackra1n jailbreak) with another exploit of iOS 4.1 called limera1n. It claims to do all devices but some people are reporting major bugs with it as mentioned on Engadget. If you really much use it then go ahead, but I wouldn’t risk it.

As for other jailbreak developers, they are fuming. They have been beaten to the chequered flag and now all their work has gone to waste. If they release their version, it will be far less buggy, but Apple will nuke it (and limera1n) quick and easy. They may decide to hold off on using their exploit for a future iOS version but who knows. Either way, more proof that iOS is by no means bullet proof!

#3 – MIT Medical Mirror (Engadget)

If I had a choice of any college to go to, I would go to MIT. The stuff these guys create is stunning to say the least. Below is an image of a concept whereby merely looking in the mirror, you can check your pulse. It is based on the arterial vein in your neck (that’s some CSI shit right there). Using nothing more than a web-cam and some software the guys at MIT got the program working. This is rather impressive and nice to see that medical science is growing so rapidly.

#2 – Touch screen that touches you back! (CNN)

Ah this is what I have been waiting for! Disney Research has released some concepts for a touch screen phone that can use static electricity to give a physical feel to various sections on the screen. They call it TeslaTouch. This might mean very little to some people but think about this. I had a Nokia phone before the smart phone era took over. I used to be able to touch type on the phone without looking. I could text from my pocket (although it looked like I was playing with myself, people didn’t believe me when I said I was texting). This is actually impossible on an iPhone. The screen has a full qwerty keyboard but it is digital. You have no guarantee you are typing the right words unless you look.

With this is will add the ability to touch type, slightly more interactive games and of course it will make touch screen phones accessible to the blind in an entire new way. Looking forward to see this develop!

#1 – FBI are watching you! (CNN)

This is one of the headlines that really caught my attention.  A Californian citizen, Yasir Afifi, was working on his car when he discovered the item bellow. After posting an image of it on Reddit, he and his friends discovered that it was a tracking device belonging to law enforcement. He didn’t know what to do with it but contemplated throwing it in a lake or simply putting it on someone else’s car. He didn’t think anyone had any reason to follow him.

As he continued on with his day he was cornered by two black SUV’s with sirens blazing. Four FBI agents got out and demanded their property back! They apparently were tracking him due to a blog post a friend of his did which mentioned a bomb or something to that effect. Now this is pure racial profiling. Shocking to say the least, but that’s the patriot act. Giving law enforcement in the states the right to do whatever they please. Can you imagine the Gardaí with that kinda power? Madness! Be careful people, anyone could be watching you!

Thats all I got for this week. Thanks for reading and I will have more next week. If you think of something you would like me to mention, feel free to drop us a line!

Hi there!

This week, much like every week, has been filled with techy, gadget and other kinds of nerdy news! As you can imagine there are hundreds of new technologies released every week. So, to save you all the hassle of reading many articles about the latest e-ink for the Kindle (which is like a new one a week, who cares!), I will publish the 5 most interesting announcements every week! So here we go, list number one:

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How much of a cool name would that be for a new game?

I reckon it’d be about one of the following:

• Death’s pinky ring that he uses to fuck people up
• A giant red ring with an uzi and a bad attitude
• Your sphincter after a few too many scoops and a questionable taco cheese chips

Alas, it’s not a game I’m reviewing, but the new Xbox 360 slim.

Having returned home from Thorpe Park with Paddy and our respective better halves (More about that soon), I sat down to have a nice relaxing game of Modern Warfare 2.  Knowing full well I’d have my ass handed to me yet again, I’ve become quite accustomed to being more than somewhat average at a game I’ve been playing for well over a year now.

I pushed the button on the wireless controller to start up the Xbox.  Actually on a side note, since I bought my Xbox second hand and without an instruction manual I never knew that you could start and shut down the console with the wireless controller.  This was the happiest day of my life up to that point as it meant I could be a complete and utter lazy fat bastard and never leave the couch.  Finally a proper excuse for my nappy.

With the button pressed, I stuck on my headset, which is only used to recieve such gems as

• Fuck me, you’re shit
• Shoot him, SHOOT HIM!  FFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK!  Go home.

and the ever simple but completely effective

• cunt

All given with venom that only a fat 11 year old American kid can muster.

Changing the channel to the correct one, I’m met with a black screen.

Looking at the Xbox, I’m met with three flashing red lights where only one green one should be.

This my friends, for those of you like me who didn’t know, is Xbox cancer.

My first reaction was to do what all tech support people tell you to do.  I switched off and back on again.

Nothing but red.

I Googled the problem and was told that it could be a power problem.

I followed instructions to plug everything out and plug it back in again.

Nothing but red.

The other possibility?

My Xbox had died.  A hardware problem apparently.  One that could be fixed by sending it to Microsoft, or taking it apart and having at it myself.

Well first off, I wasn’t covered by any kind of guarantee and secondly I haven’t the patience to try digging around inside something I didn’t understand.  I get enough of that when I go to bed with the missus.

So what to do?

Panic – check

Feel sad that I’d not get to play MW2 badly again – check

Wonder what I’d do with my life from that point on – check

Put a plan together – check

I knew that there was a new Xbox on offer, in fact there were two.  One a 4GB one and a 250GB one.  Both boast super quite operation, built in hard drive, built in WiFi, Kinnect Ready and with a free headset and wireless controller.

But in these tough economic times ( I know, all who use those words are cunts) how is one to afford a new Xbox?  Simple.  With a trip to somewhere like Gamestop one can easily do such a thing.

So I took all the accessories I had accumulated over the last year in the form of wireless controllers, WiFi receiver, headset, games, and countless DVD’s that I just stare at while complaining that there’s nothing on the TV.  So armed with my Tesco bags full of swag, I made my way to Gamestop.

Turns out I was sitting on nearly €160 worth of crap that they were willing to take off of me for store credit, so I sprung the extra €100 for a new 250GB Xbox Slim.

What can I say?

It’s a snazzy bit of kit but when I heard about it a while ago I thought, and typed something along these lines…

“Who’s going to waste their money on a new machine with all that stuff when we’ve already gotten every thing sold separately?”

Well lads, the answer is which ever poor fucker hasn’t got a warranty on his dead Xbox.  I have to admit, it’s a pretty machine, but that’s not what we go for in a console.  At least not for long anyway.

Sure when you take it out of the box and it’s shinier than the shiny demon Tenacious D sang about.  And when you think you have to push an eject button to get your MW2 disc in, all you actually have to do is swipe your finger over a sensor type dealy you feel like you’re on the Enterprise.

It is also as quiet as they say, not the foundation rumbling hoor of a thing that the old white boxes are, and  mine was.

With the hard drive built in, there isn’t even an option to clip on a secondary one to the top of the housing.  But there are USB connections to connect other types of hard drive and other pieces of kit.

The WiFi receiver is also built in and is a much better receiver than even the latest wireless one sold for older models.

The lads from Boob.ie went along and tested the Kinnect thingy that’s about to assault every Christmas list, so this new machine is compatible with that.  Having not tested it yet myself though I don’t know if I’ll be rushing out to buy it.  And here’s why.

They could have included a built in wireless receiver ages ago.  Same with a built in Hard drive, the swishy finger eject button thing, the quiet operation of it all.  But they didn’t.

They could have included the High Definition cables needed if you have an LCD or Plasma TV to hook it up to, but they didn’t.  They still don’t by the way, so if you do trade in everything you have for a new one, hang on to your Hi-def connections.

It’s not going to be long before the entire Kinnect kit comes with all new Xbox’s as standard.  And by the time that happens, it’ll be time to replace the old bird again so it’ll be ok.

Until then though, all this machine has done, aside from give me back the ability to get humiliated by every one else online, is make me realise that I’ve been financially raped by Microsoft.  We all have, from various Windows systems that promise to be better than the last.  (Although I have to reluctantly admit that Windows 7 has yet to give me problems) And such a dizzying range of video games systems for “every type of gamer”.

Get ta fuck.

There’s one type of gamer.  A gamer.

Give us all the same system with the same big giant hard drive and if we use it we use it.  If we don’t we don’t.

All in all, if you really love your new Xboxes and gadgets you’ll probably run out and grab one.  But if you’re thinking it’s going to change your life, then don’t.  Because it won’t.

It’s just a shiny new Xbox with a connecting port for something that you won’t use because you know someone with a Wii.

If however you have an Xbox that has just died of red ringed nastiness then you could do worse than just trading up like I did and de-junk your living room at the same time.

(Incidentally TheDunne’s Xbox died at the very same time mine did.  I don’t know why you’d find that interesting, but we did)

And here’s a tip for all the Microsoft Product Development big wigs that I know are reading.  Whatever the next generation of Xbox is, you better have all the bells and whistles on it upon release instead of drip feeding us the shit over a few years.

If not, you’ll be on the business end of my very own brand of flashing red ring courtesy of my chilli coated dildo on a broom handle.

Soothing sour cream rub will be sold later as an add on.

New Xbox slim’s will set you back

• €200 for a 4GB (Why?)
• €250 for a 250GB

Depending on where you get them you’ll get a game or two thrown in for good measure too.

Giggidy giggidy goo...

Firstly let me begin by saying that not all articles I write will be about Apple or the iPhone, it just so happened that as I was looking for techy news Apple decided to announce the Irish release date for their hotly anticipated iPhone 4. See? Just a coincidence…honest. Now, anymore snooping from you and I’ll be forced to take ‘measures.’

Apple’s newest version of their ‘gadget of the century’ will arrive on our shores on (drum roll please) the 30th of July. Woop-de-fucking-doo.

As current iPhone owners will realise, acquiring an iPhone in the past involved either submitting to o2′s ridiculous contract options, or getting one off a fella who swears ‘it fell off the back of a lorry.’

The times they are a changing, however, as o2 have had their exclusivity as dealers of the iPhone revoked and without a moment to spare Vodafone and Three have jumped in, whipped out their cocks and are now trying to prove that ‘theirs’ is ‘just as big as o2′s.’They are still playing it safe too though and none of the aforementioned companies have announced a price. If we look at the patterns over the last few years then it’s safe to say that the cheapest priced iPhone will be accompanied by the most expensive contract and vice versa. Currently with o2 the cheapest monthly contract of €40 will let you have the phone for about €200, and it is even possible to get the phone for free if you can afford €100 monthly bills. If you want to buy the phone on prepay, then get ready to fork out somewhere around €600/700, not exactly what you would call an appealing price tag.

Apparently Apple will also be selling the phone sim-free and unlocked from their own online store, but again be ready to pay out an extortionate amount of money. They will, however, be providing free phone covers for ALL customers due to the amount of bad press this whole antennae debacle has brought them. The covers will allegedly cut down the amount of dropped calls caused by this issue.

As more details arrive in I’ll be posting updates so keep your eye out for more information. In the meantime, if you want to pre-book an iPhone 4 with Vodafone or Three you can do so here and here respectively. Just don’t keep going on to your mates about how you’re going to be one of the first people in the country with the new iPhone, no amount of apps will stop them beating the living bejaysus out of you for it.

Oh, and I almost forgot, just in case you haven’t heard about any of the new features on Apple’s latest smartphone it has:

• Rear and forward facing cameras (rear facing camera also has flash)
• FaceTime video calling (though this will be about as popular as video calling has ever been, as in not at all).
• 32 or 64GB models available.
• Highest resolution screen of any phone…ever. Fact.
• HD Video recording so those videos of you and your drunk friends will no longer be blurry beyond recognition.

So there you have it folks, whether you’re a tech-head who has all the latest gear, or a stubborn bogger still using a Nokia 3210, I predict a lot of people being converted to the iPhone with this release.

As usual any questions or comments can be put in the box below.

Howdy folks, I’m new here and I’ll be going by the name Hardwired.  I’ll try to bring you updates, news, reviews and other stuff around anything that operates from a socket or batteries.  Well, apart from the stuff that Vibratora recommends that is!

Here’s just a quick piece to start me off…

Unless you’ve been living under a Mary Harney sized rock for the past while, you have undoubtedly heard about Apple’s forthcoming brand new iPhone 4 (complete with a recession inspired money saving system that cuts off your calls at random intervals, or at least thats probably how Steve Jobs will justify it). To accompany this new hardware release, Apple have also developed a brand new operating system for their mobile devices, titled iOS4 to comply with Apple’s general running theme of marketing to iHipsters and iDiots.

Not actual iPhone 4g. Don't be silly

The iPhone 4 has a mouth wateringly large amount of sexy new features (HD screen, multi-tasking etc) but the release of iOS4 has given current iPhone owners the chance to experience some of the new bits and bobs before the release of the new hardware model. Obviously, some of the features are limited, and the amount that are depends on whether you have – the 3G or the 3GS.

For example, the 3G won’t run multi-tasking, due to RAM limitations, however it also appears the 3G can’t handle the immense power required to put a wallpaper on the homescreen. This may seem like a minor flaw, but believe me, when your 3GS owning friend shows you his newly designed homescreen ornamented with a background picture of Megan Fox covered by a piece of fabric that is actually smaller than the phone itself, it grates a little.

I’m sure you’ve probably guessed by now that I’ve been using iOS4 on a 3G, and you’d be right (give yourself a pat on the back, cause no one else gives a shit about your self esteem), but I’ve also tried it on a 3GS and I’ve got to admit, it works pretty damn well.

The multi-tasking is slick and effortless, accessed by double pressing the home button to view a pop up toolbar type menu at the bottom of the screen, and the addition of a screen orientation lock is a sign that Apple are finally beginning to see the use for some non-flashy basic features for once. Folders are another great addition that really shouldn’t have taken this long to make it to the OS, simply drag one app on top of another and it will create a folder, automatically named based on the category of the apps, incredibly simple yet very clever.

But to be honest, I’ve had enough of kissing Steve Jobs’ arse for one article, and the overall experience I have had using the new OS on the 3G has been glitchier than an autistic Aphex Twin who forgot to take his medication. My “phone” refuses to send texts, maintain calls, and just operate really, turning my iPhone into just an “i”. Now I’m not a naive person, I have no doubt that Apple were aware their shiny new OS wouldn’t be smooth on the 3G, and that this in turn would make people want to upgrade to the iPhone 4, this is pretty typical of a company whose evilness is matched only by a puppy slaughtering festival in Nuremburg.

For all my complaining about the OS “bricking” my phone and effectively turning it into an expensive paperweight, I should mention that the update is free so at least it didn’t cost me any money for Apple to ruin my life. It’s kinda like getting a prostitute for free only to find out she has HIV, I mean sure it’s free, but it’s just…dodgy.

Well, that’s my Boob.ie cherry popped!

If you’ve any questions or comments, drop them below and I’ll get back to you!