Two boobs good, four boobs better

Don’t be self conscious if you sweat during sex. A sweating man just oozes testosterone and it is a biological turn on for women. “Oh yeah sweat all over me!!” Grrrrrr.

During sex keep the bedroom nice and warm. Heat causes dilatation of blood vessels and more swelling of the penis and vagina and flushing of the skin, which will only lead to great things.

Early morning sex is a great option if you are too tired at night. You can get extra help from the surge of testosterone in the morning. Blood levels of testosterone are highest just before dawn and are 40% higher than in the evening.

Having sex at least once a week can lower a man’s risk of heart disease by 30%, stroke by 50%, and diabetes by 40%. It has also been shown that men with an active sex life are more likely to live past 80 years.

The average size of an erect penis measures between 5 and 6 inches, while the average size of a flaccid penis is about 3.5 inches. See we know you ain’t all that BIG!

Keep that ass looking hawt!  Men’s sexy asses are the most admired part of a man’s body by women. Auntie V loves her some fine ass. Nom nom nom.

Happy Boinking!

V.

“Hi Guys,

Tina here from Angels, just wanted to say hi.  I’m originally from Portugal but I’ve been here for the last few years studying to be vet!  Thanks to all who came to our Party last week!  We met a few of you from Boob.ie, so we thought we’d invite you along again, since you’re such good fun!

I’ll hand you over to Maxi with the details of how you can win free stuff from us, in the meantime, here’s a shot of me to whet your appetite!”

Thanks Tina!

Well the loverly people over at Angels Lapdancing Club have given us more stuff to give away.

This time it’s FREE entry for you and 4 of your mates, plus a FREE bottle of Champagne to make you feel like there’s a party in your mouth!

We were there a couple of weeks back and had great craic with the winners of the competitions, and of course the endless amounts of hot chicks in skimpy underwear!

Even if Paddy scared them off with his sex offender moustache.

Boob.ie with Leah from Angels. It doesn't surprise us that Paddy is paying more attention to Bren's head.

So what do you have to do?

Get yourself over to our Forum and post your favourite Youtube clip.  The best one will win.  It can be funny, silly, gross, weird or whatever.  You know, the kind of stuff that Youtube was invented for.

Drop the video into the forum on THIS PAGE and hope it tickles us enough to give you free stuff!

What are you waiting for?

I don’t think anyone needs reminding about Jenny from Wicklow a couple of weeks back, but just to be safe take a look at her stuff HERE.

Well aside from the amount of hits that Jenny got we also got an email from someone by the name of Hannah.  Hannah is 22 and from Blackrock in Dublin and reckons she can give Jenny a run for her money.

“Hi guys,

Love the site, it’s a great laugh altogether.  I especially think it’s great that there’s finally a proper place that us girlies can send our cheeky pics.  The uk mags like Front and FHM are great too, pity there’s no mag like that here but your site more than makes up for the absence.

Anywhoo, I saw yer one Jenny last week and she’s stunning but I reckon I could be more popular than her on your next Boobie Tuesday.  Which is the best day of the week by the way!

So after much practice with the mirror and the timer on the camera I came up with a few.

Hope you and all your readers like them!

xxx

Hannah”

Hannah, what can we say?

Seriously.

Her first name of Memphis came from the lead character in Gone in Sixty Seconds and the Monroe from Marilyn Monroe. She was raised and currently lives in Louisville, Kentucky.

Monroe started working as a hostess in a Hooters restaurant at age 16. While working for Hooters she posed for their calendar. Upon turning 18, she began doing nude modelling; in April 2005 she began performing in adult films.

In May 2005 she posed for a Hustler magazine layout; two months later she learned she would be the cover model for the December issue of the magazine. In November 2005 she was signed to an exclusive contract by Hustler, becoming their second girl ever after Jessica Jaymes. In December 2006 her contract with them was renewed, but by August 2007 she had left them. She later said it was a mutual parting, as she wanted to work as an independent and Hustler wanted to focus more on their casino and the clothing line.

Blah blah blah, I’m just thinking of the excuses I’d use if I was ever face to face with her and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her 36DD motorboatable jubblies.

Check more of her out at MemphisMonroe.com

Ok, so it’s not Boobie Tuesday, but how about some Friday Funbags?

Kicking the new weekly instalment off is a new series, Boobs through the ages, where we’ll look at the ladies who have been either liberating women, or allowing themselves to be exploited, whatever your preferred view is.

Who better to start off with than with Marilyn Monroe?

There’s no denying that she was and still remains one of the sexiest women ever to have walked the earth.  This was in a time before air brushing, liposuction and fake tan were a staple in the diet of a model, actress or socialite.

And of course, she was all three.

Controversy first found Marilyn when someone attempted to black mail her by releasing nude photos of her taken in an early shoot back in 1949.  She was a quick thinker though and released the photos before he did.  And in 1953, she posed on the cover of the first Playboy magazine.  The only issue of the famous mag not to have a date or an image of a “bunny” on the cover as Hugh Hefner didn’t think he’d be publishing a second.

And it’s this photo shoot I want to focus on.  Back in the late 90′s I shop lifted my first copy of Playboy.  That makes it sound like I made a career out of shoplifting porn, but I didn’t.  I can’t remember if they had been made legal at this point, but I wanted a copy to see what all the fuss was about, because there was a lot of it.

Inside was a centerfold bunny and some other stuff.  But there was also the famous Marilyn Monroe shoot.  She blew away the competition in the mag.  There is, and I realise how stupid this is going to sound, an almost picturesque quality to the shoot.  What I mean is that the pictures could have been painted rather than taken with a camera.

Of course they caused a stir back in the 50′s, but by today’s standards they’re quite tame.  It doesn’t matter.  It also doesn’t matter that too many women in recent years have been hailed as “This generation’s Marilyn”.  From Anna Nicole Smith to Pamela Anderson.  They’re not and they weren’t.

All hail Marilyn and those who, with her helped make the world of boobs and ladies what it is today.

A friend of mine recently moved into an apartment with a bunch of lads, and I asked him if he needed anything for a house warming present. You know something he could use instead a stupid plant that would inevitably die. I asked if he’d like some new bedding to impress the ladies when they come over, he was all like “eh no I have a blanket and pillows already.” “Yeah but do you want maybe a new duvet cover and pillow cases and perhaps some new sheets?”

When he said “for wha?” well I nearly had a big gay tantrum. Turns out my friend had been sleeping on a lovely double bed, with no sheets on it, two pillows and a single duvet,all with no covers.

He then confessed to never having girls over in any of the places he’s lived in, because of his bedroom. You would think a man of 24 would have the cop on to do something about it. I volunteered my design skills to help him out, and stole his wallet too.

After be told not to buy anything “too gay” I set out on a bit of a shopping spree with a very tiny budget.

It had me thinking, there must be so many men in the same situation as my friend. So I’m going to pass on my tips to you guys.

Before you “x” out to go look at lesbian midget porn, just hear me out. If you have a lady friend over, she won’t be too impressed with your Batman bedding, so most likely won’t come back for more nooky. But if you make a bit of an effort, you can bet your straight ass she’ll satisfy your morning horn, and will feel comfortable to come back for seconds maybe even thirds.

I know a lot of you are probably in rented accommodation, I’ve taken that into account so you won’t need any tools or paint, just a few bob and some elbow grease.

1. Clean your room. “Yes Mammy” I hear you say, but let me tell you, nothing will dry a woman up more than inches of dust, smelly socks, and mouldy tea mugs everywhere. Fling your dishes in the dishwasher, throw any rubbish away, give everything a once over with some furniture polish. I recommend investing in a laundry hamper with a lid. If you’re waiting to bring your laundry home to Mammy at the weekend, don’t just shove it under your bed, a laundry looks neat and will keep and smells in. Underbed shoe storage bags are great for your stinky runners too.

2. Invest in a CD/DVD tower to keep all your media organised and easy to find. Music and movies can be great conversation pieces during those awkward morning after moments.

3. Bedding. Stick to one colour, simple and plain for for your sheets, duvet cover, and pillows cases. It looks trendier and effortless. Plain dye bedding is usually quite inexpensive and easy to find.

4. I’m all about lighting. Lighting can do wonders for a room. Proper lighting can be relaxing, can help you concentrate if you’re working from home, and can definitely set the mood when the ladies are over. When choosing a lampshade, go for something that covers up the light bulb, this will add warmth to you’re room. If you can, I’d also say go for some sort of floor lamp as well, for that bit of extra light when ever you need it.

5. Instead of throw cushions that’ll scream “homo” as soon as they touch your bed as some colour an comfort with a bright rug.

You’re room will be trendy, and it’ll look like you haven’t tried too hard, and will definitely have the gals back over for more slumber parties, but most importantly you’ll be more comfortable there.

Oh one last tip, get a few candles, scented ones will help with the pong off your Guinness farts and they’ll defo impress the ladies. Our pals at Lush Ltd have launched some new candles and I must say they are quite manly looking but smell fab! We like they’re Lust scented candle…very seductive….perfect for date night.

Happy Humping!

Will.

I’m glad I have a winky, and not a woo hoo.  Boys have winkies and girls have woo hoo’s.

Why am I so glad I have a winky?  Because I get to wank my winkie while looking at pictures of pretty women.  And I get to practice what it would be like if I ever got to put my winky into their woo hoo.

Occasionally I like to wonder what it’s like to be a lady with a woo hoo, but for now I’ll settle with what the baby jebus gave me.  And while I’m settling, I’ll put it to good use and increase my catalogue of womens whose woo hoo’s I’d like to sink my winky into.

There are a few reasons that we chose Isla Fisher for induction into our weekly wank bank.

1.

She’s a hot redhead.  Red heads are hot, gingers are not.  We’ve talked about this before, but if you need a refresher, check it.

2.

Her middle name is “Lang”, which sounds like a dirty word for penis.  So I imagine that I could get one or two dirty jokes out of it by saying that of course I’d get a go on  her.  After all, her middle name is cock.  It might need a bit of work.

3.

She’s tiny, only 5ft3.  I could do some serious damage to a woman of that petite stature.  I mean with a standard size woman, all I hear is “You in yet?”.  But with a woman that short and petite I reckon she’d have a bit of trouble accommodating my 4 inch pleasure truncheon.

Of course word on the street that her actual husband Sasha whatshisface is hung like a donkey, but that’s far too much for my Isla.

Jaysus, the damage he could do.

I’d never get any friction.

I’d have to settle for some hot foot action.

That’s right, my name is Maxi and I have a foot fetish.

“Hello Maxi”

Thanks fellow perverts.

I could suck on her dinky toes while she diddled herself imagining that she could still fit my 4 inch monster for some sexy time.

You’d suck on her toes too.  Just check them out.

Nyom nom nom nom.

I mean if this was 20 0r 30 years ago, I might have included someone like Goldie Hawn in the weekly wank bank.

But it’s not and while she may be a handsome woman, I just couldn’t picture myself nibbling her toes.

But she does have two nyomable daughters in the form of Kate Hudson and Keri Russell.

That’s next week sorted so….

In the meantime, join me in celebration of Isla Fisher.

Subsequently, you can follow Isla Fishers toes on Twitter – HERE

We gave you some real Irish Bums earlier, so we’d figure while we’re at it we’d do another one.

No sooner had we got the first piece up on the site that we got an email from Jessica in Swords who has already featured on the site a short while back.

“After we sent the pics to you, we took a few more and I kind of got into it.  So unless anyone else has sent in a pic of their bum, I’d like to be the first one to do so!

Hope it’s ok”

Suppose it’ll do Jess!!

You can always send us your boob and bum pics to the usual inbox@boob.ie address, in the mean time we’ll get on with this.  Featuring the most popular girls from Celtic Glamour, we show you another reason, apart from their Real Irish Boobs, that has made them so popular.

Behold….

Karen's bum

Sandra's bum

Polly's bum

Steph's bum

Boob.ie Fave, Lee and her bum!

More Lee

Thanks as always to Celtic Glamour.

Stay tuned to Boobie Tuesdays as we’ll be announcing details of our first ever Boob.ie Shoot!

First up this week we have Marie from Clonskeagh.  A little poem for you there.  Here’s another one for you – “Boobs, boobs, for motorboatin!  Anyone?  No?  I’ll get me coat then”

Ok, so I’ll steer clear of the poetry in future, and stick to what I’m good at.  When I find out what that is, that is!

20 year old Marie sent us in some pics she took of herself on a whim.  We know when a whim takes us there’s not much you can do about it!!

Marie said:

“Sorry about the blurry shots, but I wasn’t going for the pro look.  I was going for the boobie look!!”

That’ll do Marie, that’ll do!

Next up we have 19 year old Andrea from Donegal.  Andrea works part time with a promotions company going to exhibitions and theme nights in clubs and pubs.

“You know the kind of girls who are put into tiny tshirts and made to give  out free samples to blokes?  That’s me!”

Well if we had known that, we’d have sent you a Boob.ie tshirt so that you could hand out some quality boobage.  Although you’re already doing that and our shirt would only cover them up, barely.

Actually we’ll send out our smallest fit, then you can give us some brilliant underboob shots!  How about it?

“You can try your luck!”

We asked on Facebook last night what else you’d like to see on Boobie Tuesdays and the first answer was “Real Irish Bums”.

So we put the word out and here is what we came up with.

But before that, here are some interesting facts about bums:

• if you push a pair of boobs together, they look like a bum
• If you draw nipples on bum cheeks they can sometimes look like boobs
• Bums, like boobs are a great place to place certain, things.  Maybe if you’ve been a good boy on your birthday you might find out.  Or if you’ve been a bad boy and in the clink you’ll find out quicker.

Long time fans of Boobie Tuesdays will remember Crystal.  She was our first ever Real Irish Boobs, so it’s only fitting that she be our first Real Irish Bum!

Thanks to Crystal and Celtic Glamour for helping us out for our First Real Irish Boobs!

If our first attempt is to your liking, we’ll have another bash at it later.